Four Cocktails, One Guy, and Five Cats

I had my first online date tonight and it wasn't exactly a perfect ten. To start, he was late. I actually arrived ten minutes early so that I could prepare. Translation...consume enough vodka to calm my nerves before his arrival. Every time someone stepped into the bar, my stomach would leap into my throat. It wasn't until I looked down at my watch and I realized that it was 10 after and I was sitting at a bar, by myself, sipping on my third cocktail, that I began to consider that I could possibly be stood up. Just as I was about to pay my tab and walk away, he arrived. Now...he looked somewhat like his photos, enough that I recognized him, but it was pretty obvious that none of the photos were recent. He didn't look as old as I expected, but he wasn't exactly as attractive as I expected either. I tried to keep an open mind...maybe he had a great personality. We talked for about 30 minutes before I started checking my watch and looking for the exit. The guy was by trade a geologist and was extremely interested in rocks and minerals...an area that I have absolutely no interest. To make things worse he revealed that he has not one, not two, not three...but FIVE cats. And he named each of them after different types of minerals. To add insult to injury, when I tried to explain to him that I was allergic to cats, he mentioned that two of them were pretty old, so they would be dead soon. As if that would make a difference. At this point, I'd had about four cocktails and he wasn't getting any better looking or any more interesting. He started asking me questions like, "Where do we go from here?". I just sat there. I was so afraid to say something that might hurt his feelings, but I really didn't want to prolong the date any longer and he was totally hinting that he'd like to stay for dinner. Thankfully, my dog came to the rescue. I politely explained that I had only planned on having drinks and needed to get home to let my dog out. Thankfully he agreed. The piece de resistance however was when he stopped, while walking me out to the car, to pick up a giant rock off the ground and began to explain to me how that particular rock was created. He even took out his keys and began scraping the rock to try to further describe its individual properties. At some point, even he must have realized how painful this experience was becoming, because he stopped himself mid-sentence and looked up at what must have been a rather confused look on my face and apologized. I just smiled and said, "No problem. You're obviously very passionate about what you do". I think he knew I was being polite. He shook my hand, thanked me for meeting with him, and went on his way. He was a very nice guy, but like I said...four cocktail, one guy, and five cats...not exactly a perfect TEN.

Sincerely,

Not into AWESOME guys

CH