The doctor is out

So I was finally matched with someone that I considered "good looking" and he was a doctor! I was extremely nervous. I had a feeling that he might be a bit out of my league. He was wearing a pretty tight t-shirt in his photos and to be frank, I haven't been in that great of shape since I was 23, but I was trying to be optimistic. Maybe my personality would trump the size of my ass. We talked on the phone several times and made plans to meet for drinks last Thursday, which I thought would give me plenty of time to tan, get a pedicure, and buy something flattering to wear on my hot date. No such luck. He called me last minute to let me know that he got tickets to the opening night of Wicked! I knew I couldn't say no, so I did my best to make due with what I had in my closet and left work early to get ready. Well the show was phenominal, but it was difficult to talk and he didn't really show much personality. He was pretty cute, but he didn't quite look like his photos. He was actually very very lean. Not really my type and I was pretty sure I wasn't his either, but trust me, I was willing to make an exception if he showed interest in me. We had a nice time, but I knew there wasn't much of a spark. He asked me what I was up to this weekend and told me that he and his friends would be out, if I wanted to give him a call. I sent him a text, but didn't hear back. I'm quite sure he had his hands full with the ladies downtown. Any 34 year old living in a loft downtown is probably not really looking for something serious. We'll see...maybe he'll call me the next time he has tickets to a show. I like free stuff, even if there is no love connection. I'm not holding my breath though...I think the doctor is out.

Seriously,

NOT INTO AWESOME GUYS!

CH

The Computer Nerd

I literally thought I was going to be the Computer Nerd’s pen pal for life. After about 20 emails he finally decided to get my phone number and ask me out. For a guy that sits in a room and fixes computers all day, Computer Nerd was actually pretty funny in his emails so I was interested to find out what he would be like in person.

We decide to meet at a restaurant near both of our houses. Computer Nerd is sitting on a bench waiting for me outside of the restaurant. He has on a white shirt, black pants, white socks and black shoes. That’s right…I said WHITE SOCKS. You couldn’t miss them! While he is a computer nerd and probably doesn’t know a bunch about fashion, you would think black pants, BLACK socks, black shoes would be common sense. I tried not to obsess about the white socks by telling myself that maybe it was his own personal tribute to the late King of Pop. RIP MJ.

Aside from the white socks Computer Nerd was actually normal (two dates in a row with regular guys…I’m on a roll!) and was funny in person too. He was a little bit dorky but was also very self-aware and even pointed out the fact that he was kind of a dork. The night ended after dinner was over, but overall it was a nice evening. We’ll see what happens.



WOW is all I have to say,
NG

Another one bites the dust

Another online boyfriend has slipped through the cracks. He has no nickname because there was nothing about him that lent to a good nickname. My friends know him as the chubby guy with the kid, although it’s a little unkind…it’s true. (You have to do something to separate all the boys!) We literally made it through ALL 8,000 steps eHarmony offers to make sure two people are compatible, which is a process I find questionable….but that’s a whole different blog. We emailed, we spoke on the phone, he emailed asking if I would be free a certain day of the week, I emailed a response…..then nothing. Nada. I can only assume that he has suffered some horrific tragedy in which his hands and vocal chords have been disabled. Therefore, he has been unable to email/call/text to tell me how bad he feels for blowing me off.

Get well soon chubby guy with a kid!


WOW is all I have to say,
NG

A shirt only a mother would love

Cool kitty cat shirt, man! I know my mom, aunts, grandmothers and all of their friends would LOVE to know where you bought it. On the other hand, there is no good reason for a 30-something man to wear a picture of a kitty cat in an overall pocket on a t-shirt. I'm just sayin.

WOW is all I have to say,

NG

Dear Mom, I met the most AMAZING guy!

Dear Mom,

I met the most AMAZING guy while online dating. I’m sure you noticed the picture I’ve attached. I know you said nice normal girls don’t find boyfriends on the Internet, but I think I beat the odds. For starters, he’s in band….you can see him with his drum in the picture. He had a lot to choose from on his profile so I just picked the best one to show you. His favorite book is Where the Red Fern Grows. I mean, you can argue that he hasn’t read a book since junior high, when everyone else I know read that book. I’d like to think he was SO MOVED by the story he always remembered it. Oh, and he’s an athlete! He’s SO fantastic at playing foosball...that's right, I said FOOSBALL....that he has won several world championships…his online profile said so. I mean, he says he was THIS close to going pro. Sure foosball is probably a lesser known professional sport, but I think Dad will be really excited that I’m dating an athlete. Cross your fingers…he just might be the one!!

WOW is all I have to say,

NG

Mykol

So I was matched today with a guy named Mykol...not Michael...but Mykol. I know it's not his fault that his parents wanted to get creative, but really?! You have to know that the guy's parents are probably "different" and that must have had an influence on him in some way shape or form, but still, I decided to give the guy a chance and check out his profile. No surprise...there was no photo available...maybe he's different looking too. My last resort was the profile. He said that the last thing he read was The Great Gatsby...because it reminded him of himself? Seriously? Didn't you read that in high school like everyone else? Which part reminds you of yourself? Did you just make that up because putting down Maxim Magazine looked bad? Trust me...honesty would have won you more points with me and I'm just not buying that one.

Sincerely,

NOT INTO AWESOME GUYS!

CH

Future President?

I guess I blame the photographer for this one. Whoever took this photo should have told this guy how lame it is to pose with your knee up and your fist on your chin. He really does need a woman's touch.

Sincerely,

NOT INTO AWESOME GUYS!

CH