Our Children Would be Blind

There is a pretty good list provided to select 'reasons why' when you close someone, but I've found a few important ones are missing...

• Our Children Would be Blind. (I have really bad eyesight, so if I see that anyone is visually impaired in any way, i'm really doing a service to humanity by closing them.)
• Too short/Too tall. (They really missed the ball on this one. They do have 'I feel the distance between us is too great' and I've selected that one a few times for this situation, mostly for my own entertainment, but I don't know that I'm getting the message across clearly.)
• Not picking up what you're putting down. (Simple. To the point. I like it.)

... I'll let you know if I think of more.

Bless their hearts.
ASP

5 THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT INTERNET DATING

Out of the OnlineDating.Bomb ladies blogging about their experiences, I am the newest. I’ve seriously been internet dating for like a week…really. Consider me the New Girl. I’m still not completely sure why I signed up....maybe out of curiosity, maybe to join in all the “fun” my friends were having, maybe to get a free meal or two, maybe because I got a deal I couldn’t pass up. Who knows, hopefully my $40 won’t go to waste….and even if it does, that’s okay too. Here are a few observations from the first week of internet dating –

1. If you say the greatest thing about you is your smile, it’s probably a good idea to post of picture of yourself actually smiling. Seems simple, but a lot people are missing the mark on this.

2. Why do so many single guys have multiple cats? Or just cats period?

3. Be wary of people who describe themselves as “physically fit.” Take a close look at their picture and decide for yourself.

4. Short and simple is great in most cases. I try to follow this rule myself, BUT sometimes an explanation is a little necessary. Here’s a real life example:

QUESTION: What is something people notice about you?
RANDOM GUY’S ANSWER: My voice.

That’s it?! Nothing else?! I’m sure there is some reason WHY people notice “your voice” so you should go ahead and write why to prevent women from completely deleting your profile and forgetting they ever read a word about you. Keep in mind that I saw of picture of this guy….tall (that’s good, right?), skinny (BTW he described himself as “physically fit” see #4 for the warning about that), very pale, an dsome other boring stuff I won't even take the energy to type. He seemed to have a great job…if he wasn’t lying or embellishing. After the weird answer to a seemingly straight-forward question…well, I’m sure he is a very lovely person that I’m just not interested in knowing more about any longer. Less is not always more.

5. I AM SUPER JUDGE-Y! I can’t imagine this is going to work to my advantage. Definitely going to have to work on this over the next few weeks (okay maybe months)!

I’m going to try to keep an open mind to the whole experience. I look forward to meeting potential dates and maybe a few weirdos every once in a while. After all, OnlineDating.Bomb just wouldn’t be as entertaining without the losers!

New Girl

Bluebonnet photos aren't just for kids at Easter anymore...

Meet Mr. Bluebonnet.

Oh yes, this is his real blog picture. Under further inspection, I discovered that he likes puppies, stuffed animals, and 'funny sentiments from little kids'.

Good to know that online dating also serves as a creative outlet for friends and their clever practical jokes. We hope Mr. Bluebonnet has pasted his friends' photos on craig's list by now offering affordable customized massages (with their work and personal numbers posted).

(On a side note, although entertained, I am slightly mystified as to why e-harmony decided we were a good match... I'll get back to you on that one.)

Bless his heart. - ASP

Busted...

So, I went on a 'meet and greet' last night with 'Super Tall'. The plan was to meet late (which was nice because I've been trying to stay on my workout schedule - after taking time off of working out from 1997 to 2007, I've got some catching up to do). We met at a local sports bar.

Positives about the date: I got princess parking, ST (if you didn't guess from the name) was taller than me, nice smile, funny, we caught a GREAT Cleveland/Orlando game, I beat him at pool (3 times), and he likes queso.

Negatives about the date: He didn't pay (I realize I shouldn't expect it, but I do, and come on... My sandwich cost 7 dollars!!!!), he thought he had to 'let me win' in the beginning of the pool game, unfortunately it felt 'friendly' all night, AND drumroll please... he got BUSTED!

BUSTED = We left the bar at the same time, around 10:30pm, because the game had ended and we both had an early workday the following morning. Walk to our cars, hug goodbye, split. After pulling out of the lot and getting on the road, who do I see in my headlights jetting across the road? SuperTall has walked to his car, waited 1 minute, and is now going BACK INTO THE BAR! What happened to, "I'm going to have another drink if you'd like to stay, but I understand you have an early morning." I'm not so annoyed that he had plans for more fun w/o me, since it was clearly not a match made in heaven... but it was so decieving, and I thought, a jackass move.

Lesson to be learned: If you have plans to ditch your date early, don't let her catch your ass in her headlights on your way back into the bar. Next time, sit in your car for at least 5 minutes, consider the deceit, then go have a drink and be merry... ditched date, none the wiser.

Bless his heart.
asp

Internet Dating, Do you Dare? - What Dr. Phil won't share...

I thought I'd add a little article from my personal archives. Here is a 'personal development' piece for men that I wrote after my 2nd round of internet dating. FYI: If you wait long enough, eharmony sends you 'deals' where you can sign up for 3 months at a time, for about $11-$15/month. For the entertainment alone, the money is well spent. So, yes, this is now my third time to try internetdating.bomb. I hope you enjoy the following:


Internet Dating, Do you Dare? – What Dr. Phil won’t share…
Help a sister out and educate your single male friends. Here are a few tips to follow if you are sincere about not creeping out your fellow internet daters…

(3) Read vs. Said.
Be mindful of the fact that ‘things said’ come off differently than ‘things read’. Some stories really need a ‘smiling face’ for people to know you are a kind person and not evil. This is especially important for those with a sarcastic sense of humor. I’ll take this moment to also note that you should be careful with the ‘pop references’. “I love you like a fat kid loves cake” just doesn’t sound as funny to someone who doesn’t listen to rap… they leave, not only concerned that you have professed your love for them, but that you poke fun at overweight children.

(2) Grammar. Just use it. Rethink any sentence starting with “We was…”.

(1) Pictures… the most important lesson. Put your best foot forward. Never, under any
circumstances, take a series of pictures of yourself in the bathroom mirror for your profile. If, in dire need, you have no option, no friends to call for help, and no other pictures available… please check that the lighting is not creepy, there are not glimpses of your dirty shower curtain behind you, and do not use the flash (it is a mirror, afterall!). Smile! Nothing says ‘date me’ like a man standing next to his toilet with a deadpan look on his face. Now that you have your bathroom picture, please do the following (this is an important step that many forget)… crop out the camera before posting!!! Also remember the importance of using a current photo. If your jeans are stone washed and your hair is thick and slightly poofier than current fashion standards allow… we know you have posted a picture from 2 decades ago. Go with a current photo… we’ll find out soon enough!

Bless their hearts.
asp

The beginning...

Ladies, all the ladies...
This blog is being created for you (and mostly for the entertainment of our friends). We hope a few men may read it too and gain some valuable insights before entering the world of online dating themselves.

Our story: Three friends with three different paths... but all have lead to the world of online dating. Here, we thought we could share our trials and tribulations for our friends. All names used in this blog will be nicknames made to protect the innocent and often hopeless morons we've had the chance to meet. We hope we'll have a few good stories in here as well. Although some stories may take on a very negative tone, please remember that we feel these events, where seriously poor decisions have been made, are the most entertaining and the most educational for anyone considering online dating, aka OnlineDating.Bomb.

More to come. Enjoy.